


Knit the Pieces Back Together

by anarchycox



Series: Knitter Eggsy Universe [3]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Harry Hart/Percival, Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Sex, disjointed storytelling, roxy/OFC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-25 02:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4943605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are Kingsman and all Kingsman are prepared to die for the job (no one expects to be as immortal as Harry Hart). The know and gladly accept the results. It isn't supposed to be a perfectly ordinary accident that changes one of them forever.</p><p>Read any time after reaching Chapter 20 of Wrapped in Wool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Right so here we go - Merlin's accident. Didn't mean to start this quite yet but man the only writing I could do today was completely new stuff.  
> So this takes place a little into the future in the Wrapped in Wool universe. It is set after Merlin's 55th birthday (the fake surprise party chapter) and before Daisy's role model project. Roughly Merlin is 56 and Eggsy 31.  
> The first chapter will have a very disjointed feeling skipping between people and events. It will be linear for the chapters after that.

_Eggsy sighed and leaned into Merlin's touch. The morning light was just seeping into their bedroom and Merlin's hand woke Eggsy up slowly, nicely._

_"Lachlan." Eggsy breathed out as Merlin's hand swept up and down his tummy, as a finger thrummed against a nipple, as it swept down so close but never quite touching. Merlin kissed the crux of Eggsy's neck. "We're in no rush today lad, we have all the time in the world."_

_Waking up Eggsy for morning sex was Merlin's favourite thing._

 

"Sir, SIR! I need you to focus on me. Can you look at me? Let me see your eyes!" It was a woman, she was yelling. There were so many voices, sirens, weeping. He knew the weeping, he tried to find it. "No sir, to me, I need you to look at me."

"Married." He slurred out. He wondered why it was so hard to talk. His leg felt warm, the rest of him so cold.

 

"Merlin!" Roxy cheerfully called. "Fancy seeing you here. I thought you were off today?" 

Merlin smiled at her while he waited for his coffee. "I am. Or rather we are. Eggsy sent me out for muffins. Pouted and everything." Merlin's order was called.

He headed back towards the door. Roxy fell in step beside him. "I'll walk with you for a couple blocks, before heading into the shop."

 

Eggsy stormed through the emergency room doors, terrifying everyone in his wake. A nurse called security. He rounded a corner and saw Harry.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that he never got around to changing his emergency contact. I was the one that they called. He's been wheeled into the theatre."

Eggsy had no words. Harry pulled him into his arms.

 

_Where Merlin's hand had been, now there was his mouth. Oh he loved the taste of Eggsy in the morning. His skin was warm from being held, from being surrounded by blankets. His nipples always responded so well to Merlin's tongue. And Eggsy was so very sensitive._

_"You know, I've always wondered if you could come just from this." Merlin pondered before biting._

_Eggsy swore and hauled Merlin up for a hard kiss. "Don't know but you ain't finding out today. Today you are taking my cock."_

_Merlin was more than okay with that. Wasn't even going to make Eggsy fight for it._

 

"Blood pressure's dropping, get a drip ready, tell the ER he'll be needing surgery right when we get in. Ready to move the body in 3,2,1!" It was that woman again. He felt weightless. He didn't like it. The crying was getting further away. That was bad, the crying. He was supposed to keep the person crying okay. That was his job, he kept them all okay. He was magic you know, his table always came back to him.

"I'm sorry miss, no room."

"I'm family." The weeping girl protested. Roxy. Merlin remembered her name was Roxy. Remembered that his name was Merlin.

"I'm sorry we have to go." The woman slammed the doors and the sirens were moving. No he was moving.

He didn't like moving.

Tired.

"No sir, no sleeping right now. Stay with me. What's your name?"

"Eggsy."

"Your name is Eggsy?" 

"No." He coughed, should he be coughing red?

 

"So do you and Sarah have any upcoming plans?" Merlin asked as the two cut through some side streets. He knew they were finally back on the same page relationship wise again and eager to hold onto that.

"We're going away for a weekend. Harry and Uncle Michael are babysitting." 

Merlin stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and just stared at her.

Roxy flushed a little. "It will be fine. Uncle Michael will make it fine."

"Ye are the bravest lass I know." Merlin bowed to her a little and she laughed as they kept walking.

 

Eggsy was curled into Harry's lap like a child hiding from a nightmare. Harry didn't let go. 

Roxy had come in, not realizing that Merlin's blood was on her jeans. Eggsy threw up on her. She was now wearing scrubs.

Guinevere came for hour 2 with tea. None of them drank it.

 

_Merlin was on his back, Eggsy now on top of him. It had seemed like Eggsy had taken forever to open him up. So slow and thorough, just breaking Merlin apart. When Eggsy slid into him, they both sighed in pleasure. It was a quiet moment, a beautiful one._

_"Who ever comes first has to run out and get the breakfast pastries?" Eggsy asked with a wink._

_Merlin snorted in laughter. "Deal."_

_Eggsy pulled out slowly and then slammed back in hard. Merlin tried to think of cricket stats. After the way Eggsy had fingered him, Merlin knew he'd be coming first._

 

"Sir can you focus? Do you have any allergies? Is there anything we need to know?" It was a man yelling at him this time. He was still feeling weightless, the wheels under him flying him through hallways.

Merlin tried to focus, he knew he had to share something important. "Wallet." He managed to say. "Orange data drive." A nurse searched his body and found the drive and quickly ran it to her station. The others continued to prep him, and monitor his vitals.

"Blood is universal taker. No allergies. He did have a strain of the plague a few years ago. 4 bullet wounds, appendix has been removed, and one drug overdose on percocet. His emergency contact has been called, they said they'd be here in 15 minutes." Merlin tried to speak, to explain something, he didn't know what.

"We can't wait for that. Sir do you authorize us to preform any and all surgeries that we need to, to save your life?" The doctor asked.

"Yes." Merlin managed to say.

"Sir, we're going to do our best, but your body has taken a lot of damage." The doctor sounded sincere.

Merlin smiled. All he said was "Eggsy."

 

"So Merlin, you getting home and just crawling back into bed?" Roxy said with a wink. They were able to walk their different ways. 

"A gentleman never tells."

"Like you're a gentlemen." She snorted a little. "And Eggsy's a blabbermouth."

Merlin was about to retort, but they heard a screech. Roxy's back had been to it and Merlin didn't think. He grabbed his agent and threw her out of the way. The drunk driver plowed into Merlin's and when Merlin fell drove over his leg before slamming into a light standard.

 

They all sat in a row. Roxy. Eggsy. Harry. Michael.

None of them spoke. A couple of them were praying. Four hours it was from when Harry had the call.

The doctor came out, sweaty, covered in blood.

"Harry Hart?" The doctor asked.

Harry went forward and Eggsy went with him. "I'm Harry." Harry's voice was horse.

The doctor looked at Eggsy. "I'm sorry son, but Mr. Hart is listed as his contact. He can fill you in after."

"That's my husband in there. You're going to tell me everything."

"Eggsy." Harry murmured.

The doctor paused. "Your name was the last thing he said before he went under." He rubbed his brow. "The next 24 hours are critical. But he is stable. He'll probably more surgery to make sure that everything has set properly. And cosmetic for the scarring."

"But he's alive." Eggsy was trying so hard not to cry. He didn't even realize how hard he was gripping Harry's hand. But that was fine. Harry was gripping just as tightly.

"He's alive. He had a punctured lung, several broken ribs, a broken arm, contusions, lacerations from where the car hit him. But those were the minor injuries."

"How're those minor injuries bruv?" Eggsy asked scowling.

"The car ran him over, after hitting him, dragged him a few feet before it crashed into the standard. The impact tore off his left pinkie and half of the left ring finger." The doctor swallowed, a little scared of the look on the faces of the men in front of him. "Also the left leg was crushed and the artery almost severed. I'm sorry but we had to remove his left leg 7 centimetres above the knee." The doctor looked at the pad he was handed. "I'm going to check on his vitals, make sure that he is settled. After that, Eggsy as his husband you can go in."

 

Eggsy stayed standing in the hall. Harry tried to move him back to the chairs but he was just a statue. Harry quietly informed the others of the doctor's words. Michael kissed Harry.

"I'm going to take Roxy home to Sarah. You stay here with Eggsy."

An hour later a nurse told Eggsy that he could go in. Harry pulled a chair up right out front of the private room. No one was going to move him.

Eggsy walked in, saw all the tubes and wires attached to his husband. Saw where the blanket fell against the bed where a leg should have been.

He looked at the nurse. "He went to get us muffins. Last day off. We was going to stay in bed all day." Eggsy couldn't stop the few tears that fell.

The nurse looked at her patient's monitors. She carefully adjusted a few things. "You can't quite get in, but there's some good leaning space for you at least. I'm so sorry. But he looks like a fighter."

Eggsy laughed sadly. "You have no idea." He went over and put as much of himself on the bed as he dared. He traced the bullet tattoo that rested on Merlin's heart. The one he always touched to remind himself that they were real and together.

"Didn't get my muffins. You bastard. You better wake up and apologize." Eggsy cried as he leaned against the bed and held his husband's hand.

 

_Merlin was destroyed by the push of Eggsy, by Eggsy's breath, by the hands that were braced by his head. He looked up at Eggsy who had his head thrown back, eyes shut, and was biting his lip. Merlin thought maybe, maybe I can outlast him and then Eggsy's cock struck against his prostate and Merlin swore in pleasure. Eggsy grinned, triumphant and kept that angle up and soon, Merlin was begging, pleading for more. Eggsy gave it to him._

_30 minutes later, Merlin was pulling on some clothes while Eggsy rolled around getting really comfortable in their bed._

_"Muffins, I really feel like muffins from that shop 6 blocks over." Eggsy crossed his arms behind his head and smirked. "Blueberry."_

_"You're going to get lonely, wished I had stayed home." Merlin said leaning over the bed. Kissed his husband._

_"Nah, muffins. Oooh maybe lemon cranberry too." Eggsy snogged the hell out Merlin. "Now shoo, the sooner gone, the sooner back."_

_Merlin pet the dogs on his way out of the door, promising them a long walk later that day._

_Merlin smiled when he phone jangled in his pocket._

_"Banana nut. xxxoooxxx"_

_Merlin hurried to the shop._

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not as sad as I thought it would be so there's that :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> doing medical handwaving to suit my needs

Eggsy sat in his chair, numb. He stared at the empty bed in front of him. He heard the door open, knew the steps were Harry's.

"Any word?" Harry asked handing him a cup of horrible hospital tea.

"Nurse came by, said it's going well." Two hours ago, Merlin's numbers had started to crash and they realized they must have missed something. "He's now down his spleen as well. Should be back here in a couple hours."

Harry pulled a chair over and sat beside Eggsy. Eggsy stared at the cup in his hands before putting it on the small table.

"Can we take him to the estate? I don't like it here. I mean the doctors are doing a good job, but we got a few more resources don't we?"

Before Harry could respond, there was a knock on the door and a woman came in.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Anwar. I'd like to talk to you about Mr. Craig's recovery process." She held out her hand. Harry was first to shake. "And you are his husband correct?"

"No that'd be me." Eggsy glared at her, his handshake was brusque.

"My apologies." At least she sounded sincere. She sat on the bed. "Now there are several things that need to be discussed with his family as we venture down the path of recovery. I understand you wish to move him to a facility of your choosing. I want to reassure you that our doctors and physio therapy ward are top notch."

"Yeah, well bet ours are better." Eggsy glared at her. He couldn't explain why he was so mad at her, mostly an easy target he figured.

"Eggsy." Harry said quietly. "Dr. Anwar, in terms of straight recovery the medical facilities we have do outstrip this fine hospital. And as I'm sure you know recovering in a comforting and familiar environment can be integral to the healing process." Harry held up a hand to stop her protest, "I am sure when it comes time for his physical therapy, Lachlan will return on an outpatient programme. You do have excellent therapists here."

The doctor nodded. "I would also want to encourage him to join our discussion groups. We have meetings for people who have lost limbs or suffered paralysis, talking to people who share your trauma can be a very useful activity. We also have excellent people who can help outfit prosthetic limbs."

"I'll talk about it with him." Eggsy agreed. He had to admit that the therapy all sounded good, but Merlin would probably want to design a leg himself.

"The final thing that I wanted to talk with you alone about was medication." She looked at her notes. "He is going to be in a great deal of pain for the next few days, even weeks, but we don't want a relapse into addiction for the patient."

"My husband ain't no addict." Eggsy's anger came back in full swing.

"In the medical files he gave us, among the plethora of other issues, was an overdose on pain medication."

"He weren't no addict. I know addicts and he's not one." Eggsy stood ready to fight.

"Eggsy is quite correct. Lachlan has never had a problem with addiction." Harry looked grave. "It was a suicide attempt, the drugs had been what had been available at hand."

Eggsy thumped back into his chair, stunned. 

The doctor took one look at the two men and said a quiet goodbye and left them alone.

"Suicide attempt." Eggsy stuttered out. "When?"

"In the mid-90s."

"That's all your going to say? In the mid-90s. I don't get more than that?" Eggsy shouted at Harry.

"Eggsy, it is not my story to tell." Harry's face was sad.

"Why not? You were there." Eggsy protested.

"Not quite. I was there by chance and got him to our doctors. And I was there when he recovered and I beat the shit out of him for pulling such a stupid stunt and put him back in medical for another two weeks."

"But you do know why he did it?" Eggsy kept pushing.

Harry sighed. "Yes. I do, but again that is not my story to tell."

Eggsy curled up in his chair. "I'm his husband and have been for almost almost 5 years. You'd think he would have told me about a suicide attempt." He looked at Harry. "What else hasn't he told me?"

"Probably no more than you haven't told him." Harry kissed Eggsy's head. "Have you told him everything - really everything about your past, your history with the law, with Dean, or are there some nightmares from then that you've kept to yourself? It was a long time ago and he got better. There will be time enough to ask him about it later. As well as any other questions you might have."

"What like why you are his emergency contact?" Eggsy looked at Harry, and finally put one last piece together. "How many times have you slept with my husband?"

Harry just looked at Eggsy and shook his head. "If being mad at me right now will help you, that's fine. But you want to be careful at what boxes you pry open." Harry watched as Eggsy started to cry again. "Oh darling boy." He sat on the bed across from him. "I am his emergency contact because his parents and Robert are too far away. And honestly, nothing happens to Merlin, and for how he takes care of all of us, he sometimes is forgetful for himself. It would have been an honest oversight. As for the other, half a dozen times in the nineties for missions or for solace."

Eggsy sat there quietly. "I sent him out for muffins." He began to eat a nail. "We were supposed to stay in all day, but I sent him out for muffins and broke him."

"No." At this Harry's voice was crisp and clear. "A drunk driver who died upon impact with the light standard is responsible, not your desire for muffins. Eggsy listen to me, accidents happen and we can't predict them. But I can tell you, muffins generally speaking do not cause accidents."

Eggsy smiled a little at that. His heart felt a little lighter. But he had another question. "His bullet tattoo over his heart. The one he won't tell me about. It's tied to all that stuff isn't it?" Harry just nodded. "I looked it up, the words on it. It says A Lost Soul. Is that him, or the one wot caused all the problems."

"That Eggsy, I can honestly say, I've never figured out." Harry stood, "I'm going to call Michael and Roxy to keep them up to date." With one last shoulder pat, he was left alone.

An hour later Merlin was wheeled back into the room. Eggsy just held his hand, eventually falling asleep his head on the bed.

************************************

Eggsy woke up to a twitch under his cheek. He swatted at it.

"Lad should ye be hitting a man as injured as I?" The voice was rough.

Eggsy snapped upright and looked at his husband. Merlin looked rough, pale, a nasty scar on his cheek, so many bruises, but alive. Eggsy lay a very gentle kiss on his lips. Gave him an ice chip to suck on. He hit the button for the nurse and then said. "You're going to design a machine gun leg right? Cause I saw it in a movie and I think you could pull it off."

Merlin laughed and then groaned as it pulled at his numerous stitches.

Several nurses and a doctor all bustled through checking him over, changing bandages. They tried to get Eggsy to leave, but when he said, "I'll burn the place down before I go anywhere," they believed him. 

The doctor finally said, "I've been in contact with your personal medical team and gone over your treatment with them. I am confident in their capabilities. If you like, we can transfer you in a few hours. I have an information packet here for you about prosthetic fingers and legs, along with details about our therapy and counseling services. I do feel they would be a benefit to you." The doctor gave the dire warnings about infections and whatnot. Talked about cosmetic surgery for the scars on the stump, his torso and his cheek. He then left to continue his rounds.

"How much pain are you in?" Eggsy asked. He could take his eyes off the blank space under the blanket.

"Very little. They are some quality medications."

"Like percocet?" Eggsy asked.

"Ah." Merlin realized.

"Later?" Eggsy asked.

"Later." Merlin agreed.

"I'm going to be right pissed, just so you know."

"Sweater of shame?" Merlin joked.

"No Lachlan, this is not sweater of shame type of stuff, not even booty shorts of shame." Eggsy said solemnly.

"No I suppose it isn't." Merlin yawned. "I don't want to close my eyes. Been in the dark too long."

"A little more rest won't hurt. If you sleep enough you might even wake at the estate. That wouldn't be so bad would it?"

"Will you be there?" Merlin looked at his husband, worried.

"Course. Not going anywhere babe."

**************************

Merlin did indeed sleep through the transfer from hospital to Kingsman estate. Only a few of his staples opened up. When the doctor reassured Eggsy that Merlin should be out for another hour, he ran to have a quick shower and grab a pack of crisps and a cuppa.

He did not expect upon his return to have Tristan waiting for him. Eggsy tried to brush past him, but he blocked the door.

"Keys." Tristan held out his hand.

Eggsy took a step back. "I'm sorry."

"Give me your house keys. I do not break into places during my off hours. I need your dogs."

"Merlin is going to be fine. You ain't taking our dogs mate. You've got like 9." Eggsy protested.

"10 with Hiccup, though he is Liz's remember. Though...Bilbo is unwell.." Tristan voice and face never changed, but Eggsy could just feel the pain coming off of him at that statement. His hand stayed out. "I am not keeping your dogs, but I am taking them. Now give me your keys."

Eggsy handed them over.

"Of course they respond to hand signals." Tristan said.

"Q does. JB not so much."

"He still only has whistles and voice commands." Again Tristan's voice didn't change, but Eggsy knew there was disdain in it.

"Eh, when he wants to. But he'll follow Q, he's just a little excitable."

Tristan left without another word. Years and the guy still sometimes scared the fuck out of him.

Eggsy went beside Merlin and settled in. Merlin managed an hour awake for every 5 that he slept.

It went that way for a few days, the length of time awake getting longer and longer.

Roxy had finally convinced Eggsy to get some proper rest and was taking her turn. 

Merlin woke up and saw her stripping down a gun and putting it back together. "You should be with your wife and son lass."

"Nope. My family needs me, so I'm here."

"So I'm family now am I?" Merlin asked. "Thought I heard you yell that when they were putting me in the ambulance."

"You saved my life." Roxy said. "You pulled me away and put yourself in the line."

"And ye wouldn't have done the same in the reverse? It was instinct lass, I take care of my agents."

"There's a difference between cracking a computer in a building, and dragging out of the way of a drunk driver."

"I've been doing my job for a long time. Hard to stop."

"I owe you." 

"No you don't."

"But."

"Lancelot." In non-mission time Merlin never used her code name. "I've sent you out to what could have been your death countless times over the years and once I'm healed I will do so again. If it would save the world I would not hesitate to watch you die. But that moment, if I had it over I'd do the same again. Now go home to your family. Cuddle them. Enjoy life, it's so easily gone for us."

"Yes sir." Roxy kissed his cheek and left him alone.

******************

When next he woke it was Harry beside him.

"Your husband knows we've had sex."

Merlin tried to kill Harry with his mind.

"You did explain it was very seldom personal." Merlin finally said.

"Of course. I finally told Michael as well, though he had made it clear long ago that he had already guessed. He's better than you." 

"Great, just great. I lose a spleen, a finger and a half, and a leg, and learn that Guinevere is better in the sack than me." Merlin hit the button that would increase his pain medication.

"He's bigger too." Harry said cheerfully. "Though you already know that. I just wanted to remind you."

"Years. You've been with him almost 3 years now. That means you've been holding onto that gloat for years." Merlin looked at Harry. "Thank you for the distraction."

"A gentleman helps his friends in their time of need." Harry crossed his legs. "So I have an eye patch, you a peg leg, do you think we should get Bors a parrot?"

"Harry." Merlin said quietly.

Harry grew serious. "Liz and Pilar and a couple others are handling your job as best they can. You need to train people Merlin, properly train them to do your job."

"I know. I will." Merlin smiled. "I'm afraid I caught a little too much of the Harry Hart imperious to danger bug."

"Our doctors have been researching and talking with the physical therapists and counselors at the hospital. They've been outlining a plan for you, where we'll get you mobile in a wheelchair or with crutches and then you'll do outpatient work at the hospital."

"Not all in house?" Merlin was a little surprised.

"No, it is suggested that being around other people with similar injuries is beneficial."

Merlin nodded, he trusted Harry and he trusted the kingsman staff. 

He got an itch, but with how taped up his ribs were and his broken arm it would be difficult to reach. "Harry be a friend and scratch me leg at the bottom of the calf?"

Harry just looked at him. Merlin realized he gestured to the leg that wasn't there anymore.

Merlin closed his eyes. "Thank you for the company and information Arthur."

Harry understood the dismissal and took it in stride.

********************

It took two weeks before Merlin was healed enough to get out of the bed and into a wheelchair. During those two weeks, and for however long it took, it was understood that Eggsy wasn't available to the table unless the circumstances were dire. He had another bed wheeled in so that he could sleep almost beside his husband and learned to change bandages and gave sponge baths, even held a bed pan once or twice.

Eggsy had knitting and they watched movies and listened to music. Merlin made sure to never mention the pain or itch in the leg that wasn't there. They didn't talk about everything Eggsy had learned. They didn't talk about the accident. They didn't talk about how guilty Eggsy felt.

It was towards the end of the first week when Merlin finally noticed something. "Where are the dogs?"

"Tristan collected them an hour after you arrived here. I haven't heard from him since."

"Well, at least he'll provide them with a good home." Merlin said.

"Wot?" Eggsy's jaw dropped.

"It would be difficult for me to take care of a mastiff and an excitable pug when you are gone on missions Eggsy, perhaps it's better to just cut those threads now."

"Right." Eggsy stood and walked out. Merlin spent the whole time staring at where his fingers should have been. 

30 minutes later Eggsy came back in. He pointed at Merlin. "Our dogs. Ours.  _Ours_. We have kennels here for when I'm gone, there are dog walkers, and help programs and you are not giving up on something that you love so very much. We're keeping our goddamn dogs Lachlan."  _  
_

"As you say." Merlin said.

For the next week things were strained until Merlin was finally well enough to get in the wheelchair. Merlin was relieved to be sitting up and out of the bed. Several had been brought in for him, designed by the R&D team to choose from and he was still tired and broken enough that he chose one of the ones that was motorized but streamlined. PIlar smiled at him, "It has knock out gas in it." She winked as she left with the rejected chairs.

The doctors insisted that Merlin wasn't to go near his office for at least another week. And hopefully within another two weeks his other injuries would be healed enough that he'd be up to starting therapy to learn to walk with a prosthetic. He was healing quickly. Not quick enough for his liking, but quickly. Still he was starting to go stir crazy. Liz managed to at least sneak him in some reports before Eggsy caught her and shooed her out.

"You have to let me do something lad." Merlin protested.

"You are - you are healing."

"Physically yes, but my brain is rotting." Merlin tried to give puppy eyes. "Just two field reports."

Eggsy threw up his hands. "Two. Just two." He ignored the three extra that were in the pile. 

So for the week Merlin would get up, learn to use the wheelchair and catch up on paperwork. Eggsy would spend a few hours working out or hanging with Roxy or Harry. But at night he was with Merlin.

It was late. 1 or so am when Eggsy heard the glass shatter. He jumped up, thinking that Merlin had fallen. He rushed over but Merlin was still in the bed.

And he was crying a little. "My fingers hurt Eggsy." He finally said. Eggsy looked at the hand, not understanding at first, the broken fingers were mending well, there was supposed to be some joint pain, but generally Merlin hadn't complained about hurting for a few days. "My fingers hurt. But they can't hurt. They aren't there." And Eggsy understood and his heart broke.

"Lachlan." Eggsy said and for the first time he climbed onto Merlin's hospital bed. He curled himself around his husband. "Lachlan I'm here. I'm here. I'm sorry you hurt. I'm so sorry that this happened. I'm sorry I sent you for muffins. I should have kept you in bed. I should have..." Eggsy couldn't finish.

"I should have heard the car sooner, I should have thrown myself when I threw Roxy. I should have rolled upon impact to the side instead of just crumbling."

Eggsy picked up Merlin's left hand, kissed each of the fingers, kissed the palm where the pinkie used to be. "My love, we will get through this. You're a wizard you know. You'll conjure something up."

Merlin laughed a little as a few tears fell. "I can't even stop the itching of a limb that isn't there."

"Will it help if I scratch somewhere else?" Eggsy asked.

"I have no idea." 

"The end, the staples and glue are all done and out right?" Eggsy asked.

"Aye lad, why?" 

"And some pressure wouldn't hurt?" Eggsy continued.

Merlin shook his head, "It shouldn't."

"Okay." Eggsy slid down the bed a little and cupped his hand over the end of Merlin's thigh, putting some pressure on the stump. "Will it help if you feel this, so that you know this is where it ends? That the itching isn't real?"

Merlin felt Eggsy's fingers pushing a little at the end of his leg. It actually felt comforting in a way. "It might lad, it might."

Eggsy got as comfortable as he could.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"No." Merlin replied.

"You're going to be you know. You're going to be." Eggsy sounded confident.

"As you say." Merlin drifted off, grateful for the pressure of his husband against him.

******************************************

Two days later, Merlin was sitting in the wheelchair and discussing prosthetic legs and fingers with his team. Eggsy was being helpful with suggestions of lasers and hidden weapons in the leg. They could hear heavy footsteps down the hall. 

Tristan let himself into the room without knocking. The three techs who had been in the meeting dropped all their notes and ran. The papers flew every which way.

Eggsy sighed and crouched to pick them up.

"Looks like you could use some help." Tristan said mildly. He opened the door and gestured into the hall. "Help your masters."

Q walked in wearing a service dog vest. He walked over to his masters and nudged papers into a pile with his nose. He went to stand beside Merlin's wheelchair.

"You have trained that one well." Tristan said. "He took to our instruction easily. I went to a woman who is an expert in training service dogs, I've been volunteering with her for years. We did research to anticipate what you might need. He's been working with people with prosthetic legs for the last 10 days. The trainer was very impressed."

Merlin leaned over and buried his face in Q's neck. "Good dog," he whispered. Q huffed and licked his M's face and waited for his next command.

Eggsy looked at Tristan. "Where's JB then? Bet he did good too."

Tristan sighed. "Your dog is enthusiastic but fundamentally untrainable beyond a few things. Hence this." He opened the door again and in trotted JB wearing a vest that said also said service dog. but a piece of duck tape was above it written on so that it said: Service Dog to the Service Dog. "It was the best we could come up with. He wants to be helpful, he's just not very good at it. But as you said he'll follow Q." Tristan handed a folder over. "Here are hand and voice commands, the number of the trainer."

Tristan turned and walked away without another word.

"He's still scary as fuck, for a man who loves Harry Potter that much." Eggsy said as he snuggled JB into a hug.

Merlin didn't let go of Q. Q stood beside him happily.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost over the worst of it. as usual some medical hand waving.

Merlin wished he could stop the infernal itching. He knew there wasn't a leg there, it couldn't be itchy, but as he held on his clipboard and worked on designs for his fingers, for his leg, he would reach down to scratch and have the hand fall to blank space. At least one of the dogs always licked his hand after.

Merlin and Pilar finished a meeting. She had brought in a bunch of prosthetics and they discussed alterations, possibilities. She was going to have the R&D teams working over time. Merlin pushed himself up and back into the bed. He was doing well but still tired after being up and about as he had been all morning. Merlin went for that damn itch again and swore.

Eggsy walked in at the tail end of an impressive amount of strung together curse words. "Is that even physically possible?"

"Aye, if you are very bendy and very stupid." Merlin looked at his husband. "What do ye have lad?"

"Right, well you should have told the doctors about the itching, cause seems there is a pretty simple therapy." Eggsy moved over and placed the mirror on the bed, just like the doctor told him. "Look just at the mirror babe." Merlin saw two limbs. "Now scratch the itch." Merlin watched his fingers move and hover over a leg that wasn't really there. He kept his eyes on the mirror and scratched. A wave of relief passed through his brain and he sighed. He leaned back on the pillows and smiled. Smiles were starting to come a little more easily. "Thank ye lad, that helped immensely."

"See what happens, when you share with your doctors - you get better." Eggsy said with a cheeky grin.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Pilar thinks she have a few limbs adapted to my requests with a day or two." 

Eggsy looked surprised. "So quick?"

"She and Harry may have lit a fire under the R&D people." Merlin grinned. "They had Tristan stand behind them the whole time during their rousing speech."

"Got it." Eggsy sat on the edge of the bed. "What are you guys thinking?"

"Actually taking your idea for the fingers, sticking with more a skeletal structure, rather than ones that look like traditional digits. Pilar thinks she can create a sort of finger print for them, for activation requirements on some of our equipment. Mostly she likes to play with the 3D printers." Merlin looked at Eggsy. "I'm sorry I lost my wedding band."

"I don't care about that." Eggsy protested.

Merlin looked at him, "I do. I know it's silly, I lost most of the finger that ring was on, to lose a piece of metal that can be easily replaced. But it weighs on my mind."

Eggsy very carefully picked up Merlin's hand and kissed the bit of finger that was left. "Lachlan, you going to stop loving and cherishing me?"

"Nae. Never." Merlin's voice was strong, forceful.

"Then fuck the ring." Eggsy kissed Merlin's mouth. "I ain't going to forget that til death stuff we said, just because a strip of metal is missing."

"As you say." Merlin said quietly.

"And if you think I haven't figured out that you say that when you are just trying to humour me, well you underestimate me."

Merlin kissed his husband.

"As you say." he repeated.

"Wanker."

****************************

Two days later Merlin stood again for the first time. He was slow, careful as Eggsy stood beside him ready to catch him. Pilar had brought in the first leg, a traditional one, strong and very supportive, just made from far better materials than average. The doctor helped Merlin place it on and adjust the fit. He helped Merlin stand and then was shooed away. Merlin took a shaky step to his husband who kissed him fiercely. 

Harry cracked open a bottle of champagne. Merlin was even allowed one sip. Merlin tried another step and one more, before he sat back in his wheelchair and rested.

It was agreed that the day after next he would start proper physical therapy over at the hospital.

Eggsy shivered, as Merlin moved the leg around as he sat, wondered why it was cold in the room.

 

Merlin was strong and determined. He was going to the therapy every morning. Eggsy drove him there, helped him into the room, but couldn't ever really settle in there. There was a weird noise that stood the hair on his neck up, so he would read outside, or go for a walk and collect his husband at the appointed time. They'd go back to the estate and Merlin would have a nap and then do paperwork. He wasn't yet up to wearing the leg all day, but he was managing more and more.

He was well enough that the doctors still wanted him on hand but he could leave the infirmary. So they settled into one of the rooms available to agents on the estate.

It was the first time that they were able to comfortably sleep together. Not usually big cuddlers, they never let go during the night.

The next morning they talk over modifications that need to be done to their home, changes to the shower and the like. They talk about how Merlin is refusing counseling, but Eggsy doesn't push, not yet. They talk about how to explain it to Daisy, who's been lied to, told that Merlin is away on business. And they talk about muffins.

"You know this is not your fault lad." Merlin says.

"I sent you out." Eggsy replied.

"Aye for muffins, for our day off. We made love, and I went to get us a snack. That's it, something we had done a dozen times before. It could have just as easily been you."

"But it weren't." 

"No, but the only person at fault is the driver, and he died." Merlin kissed Eggsy. "Please my love, let this go, there is enough weight on your shoulders, don't add to it."

"I'll try." was all Eggsy would agree too.

"That is good enough." Merlin said. He sat up in bed and put his leg on. "The physical therapy is going well, the workers suggested that I might be able to try different legs soon, see what suits my needs best."

"That's great babe." Eggsy was still lying in bed when Merlin stood and walked carefully using a cane to the bathroom.

Eggsy eyes were closed and he heard that noise that had been bugging him. Dried his palms on the bed, ignored the twitch in his jaw.

That night he dreamt of V-day for the first time in a year.

*******************

It was two more weeks of outpatient therapy and taking it easy on the estate before Merlin felt comfortable enough to try some of the other legs that Pilar and he had designed. They all fit perfectly and Merlin tried each on. Eggsy had wanted to be there but a small crisis had risen up in town and Eggsy, feeling itchy from staying put for so long, went along with Gawain to deal with it.

Pilar and Merlin worked through their four designs and Merlin decided he like the running leg. It was the lightest weight one and allowed for easy movement. He walked around the room a little, did a few bends. "Aye, I think I'll give this one a try today, see how it feels to wear it long term."

Pilar nodded. It had been adapted, designed to be worn for longer than a work out. There was a stability to Merlin's gait with it, that hadn't been their with his original temporary leg.

Eggsy was walking towards Merlin's office, to talk about how the mission had gone. It had felt good to stretch his legs, do his job all proper like, get the bad guys. He wanted to see his husband, it had been a big day for him.

Eggsy heard a noise in the hall behind him. An almost familiar one, a scrape of metal and plastic on floor. His heart kicked into high gear, even as blind panic wanted to settle in. He knew that sound, realized what he had been hearing for awhile now. He hadn't heard it for years, but could recognize it well enough. He didn't think just spun and slid on the ground, pulling his gun out, smooth as silk. 

It wasn't until he had it pressed under his husband's chin that he realized he was wrong.

It wasn't Gazelle. It wasn't her killer legs. It wasn't the end of the world.

It was Merlin.

Eggsy stepped back, away, but he couldn't get his fingers to untense, couldn't quite lower his arm. His heart was beating even harder, sweat starting to drip down his face. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Eggsy swore.

Merlin took a step close, "Eggsy." 

That sound though, that almost silent scrape. Eggsy's brain spiked and he couldn't stop from throwing up on the ground. He collapsed to his knees, hands even landing in the mess. He couldn't care, he was dry heaving, gasping; he was dying.

Merlin was so confused and scared for his husband. He stepped forward and carefully crouched, using the wall for balance. "Darling -"

But Eggsy wasn't really there right now and certainly couldn't stop the words that came out of his mouth. "Stay the fuck away from me you fucking freak or I'll kill you." He wiped his mouth with the hand that still held the gun. "You're dead, you're dead." He kept mumbling, shivering.

Merlin wondered if you could actually feel your heart crack. Because he is pretty sure that is just what happened. He stood very very slowly. He took a step away from his husband, stumbling a little with the prosthetic.

Eggsy screamed and covered his ears. His whole body was shaking. "You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. I killed you yeah? Merlin blew everyone up and I killed you."

And Merlin looked down at his leg and finally understood.

"Oh, oh my darling boy." Merlin's voice broke as he spoke, and his eyes filled with tears. He stepped forward only to have Eggsy push back along the wall. 

"Eggsy, Eggsy I need you to hear my voice." Merlin said sternly. "I need you to realize that you are at the Kingsman estate. You are with your husband. You saved the world, years ago." Merlin sat down carefully. "Listen to this. I am unstrapping the leg, my leg. Not Gazelle. Me, Merlin, your husband. I am taking the leg off and I'm throwing it away down the hall." Merlin did so and made sure to throw it with a larger clatter. "The noise is done, gone lad. It is just you and I sitting here in the hall, in a safe place. You are safe. We are safe." 

Merlin didn't try to touch Eggsy, just kept up a soothing patter until Eggsy's breathing calmed. He kept talking until he saw Eggsy's fingers unclench and very carefully put the gun down. Merlin reached over and slid the safety into place. He held out his hand, and waited, and hoped. A good bit of time passed before Eggsy was able to grab it. But the second he did, he moved and collapsed into Merlin's arms. 

They sat in the hallway, sweaty, covered in tears and sitting in vomit, until Roxy came along having been dragged through the building by Q and JB. She went and got a wheelchair and blankets and helped them back to their room, drew them a bath and then made sure some tea and food would be sent to them.

They didn't talk, just held each other very tightly. Eggsy slept poorly, and woke up screaming twice.

*************************

The next day Merlin insisted that Eggsy stay in bed, that Harry could take him to the hospital. Eggsy huddled under the blankets. Merlin as he left made sure to send Roxy in, who cuddled Eggsy the whole time. She understood about nightmares.

Before heading back to his husband, Merlin stopped by R&D and told them to make the legs quieter. 

Pilar looked at him. "How am I supposed to do that." She glared at him.

"You like a challenge." Merlin replied in his fiercest voice. "I'll not use a running leg again, but the others, make them better."

"They are already better than anything available on the market right now."

"Do your job." Merlin yelled and wheeled himself out of the room. 

By the time he was back to their suite, Eggsy was at least up and about. Roxy kissed Merlin's cheek and left them.

Merlin moved himself from his chair to the couch and gestured, hopeful. 

Eggsy shook his head. "I pulled a gun on you, was ready to kill you."

"But you didn't." Merlin said.

"Could have."

"Aye. You could have." Merlin agreed. "But ye didn't."

Merlin gestured again and Eggsy sat on the couch beside him, a good few inches away. "Please lad." Eggsy moved a little closer. Merlin moved fast and pulled Eggsy tight into a hug.

"Has the noise bothered you the whole time?" Merlin asked.

"It was like your itch yeah?" Eggsy said after a time. "Just this weird feeling in the back of my brain, couldn't piece it together. Your leg didn't really make a lot of noise, hardly nothing, but we're trained to notice everything around us and it was just enough of a difference on you that I could hear it, feel it." Eggsy shuddered. "And then I walking down the hall, already pumped from running around the city after a few gang members wot been causing some nasty trouble. So I'm hyped as it is and then I hear that noise behind me, and I'm just not fucking here, not really. All I can think is how did she live, how? And then I realize I have a gun on my husband and am ready to pull the trigger."

Eggsy sniffles and Merlin feels his shirt stick to his skin, wet from Eggsy's tears. "Getting right sick of crying here guv. Need to get you back to one piece yeah? Don't think I can take much more."

Merlin smiled, "Might be magic, but even I can't get my limb and fingers back Eggsy. Couldn't put Humpty back together again."

Eggsy snorted a little. "Don't mean it like that. I just mean -"

"You want us back. In our home, our bed, our dogs in their beds. You want to begin to create whatever our new normal might be."

"Yeah. Yeah that's it."

"Soon. Soon." Merlin soothed. "I can stick with a wheelchair."

Eggsy hit his husband. "Well that's fucking stupid. You need to be more mobile than that, you've been getting so good too. I'll get over it."

"Alright. I will skip the running leg though." Merlin said. He watched as Eggsy struggled not to look relieved. "I have Pilar working on getting rid of even a hint of noise in the other leg options we designed."

"Man, she's going to kill you." Eggsy grinned, "She made you the best there could be and now you want more from her."

"Well, she shouldn't be so good at her job." Merlin looked stubborn. "There will not even be a whisper of a noise."

Eggsy grinned, "As you say."

Merlin rolled his eyes. They settled in for a cuddle.

"Would you consider counseling?" Merlin asked Eggsy. "You aren't doing as well as you would like. Between the muffin feeling, and this flashback, you might need to talk to someone."

"The muffin feeling?" Eggsy looked at Merlin, "That's what we're calling it now, the muffin feeling." He began to laugh, "Oh hello doctor, today I would like to talk about my muffin feeling." 

Merlin waited for his giggles to pass. It took awhile.

"Well, would you consider it?" Merlin asked.

Eggsy considered it. "You don't have nightmares, but then you aren't sleeping. You stare at your fingers whenever you think no one is watching and the other day when Gone in 60 Seconds came on and tires squealed you paled and flinched. And you won't look at your leg. You go to the group counseling with others in your situation at the hospital, like they suggested, then I'll talk to the Kingsman doc."

Merlin smiled sadly. "You and I we're a right mess aren't we lad."

"Yeah we are. But you and me Merlin, we always clean up good." 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We draw this story from the verse to a close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A similar structure to chapter one.

_"Are you sure?" Eggsy asked as he leaned carefully over his husband._

_"Aye lad, it's been three months, and the doctor gave us the all clear. I need ye. Need ye on top of me." Merlin was on his back, in their bed, in their home. "Need you Eggsy." Merlin pulled Eggsy down to him, kissed him softly, thoroughly. "Are ye going to make me beg lad?"_

_"Nae." Eggsy teased, trying for a bit of a burr. It came out horribly. "You'll tell me if it hurts yeah?"_

_"I will." Merlin reassured him._

_Eggsy carefully swung a leg over and was soon on top of Merlin. He pressed their chests together, kissed Merlin's mouth, his chin, his jaw. He entwined his fingers were Merlin's. Merlin tried to pull his hand away, worried how Eggsy felt touching the blank spots, but Eggsy just gripped tighter._

 

Merlin walked into the room, it had maybe a half dozen people in it. Some it was easy to tell why they were there, others it was more difficult. He went to the refreshments table, signed in and grabbed a cup of coffee. He didn't like the circle layout of the chairs, too many attack options. Still he picked the one that gave him the best view of the room, the closest he could get to his back to the wall. Others were making small talk, he didn't bother. He stared at the inspirational posters. A woman wheeled herself in.

"Hello everyone, sorry parking was murder. Why a hospital only has half a dozen wheelchair spots I'll never know." She moved to the open space in the circle. "For newcomers, welcome. I'm Shauna and I run this support group. I'm not a therapist, just someone who's been through all this and realized that sometimes people just need to talk. So let's talk. The good stuff, the bad stuff, and the in between."

Merlin listened at the people in the room slowly warmed up and talked. The group went two hours he didn't say a word.

 

"Wait, you ain't a therapist." Eggsy said scowling at the woman in the room.

"No, I am not. It was decided by Arthur, with Merlin and Taliesin's guidance, that you would just run circles around the therapist on staff. It was felt that talking to me might be better for you." She sat carefully, not creasing her suit a whit, ankle behind ankle, hands carefully in lap. "Would you care to sit?"

"You don't like me." Eggsy said dropping into a chair.

"I actually do. I think you were a breath of fresh air that was desperately needed. Do you know why I only work with two agents, the two who do long term missions? Because I have a laser focus, a drive to make them succeed, to remind them who they are when they start to become lost. I can always find an agent in the woods and put them back on the path. Are you lost Galahad?"

She looked so sweet, but there was steal in her voice. Eggsy finally began to understand why they all called her The Boudica.

He sighed and straightened a little. "I need to tell you about the muffin feeling."

 

 

_"Eggsy." Merlin sighed as Eggsy worked his way down Merlin's chest. He was kissing each scar, each freckle, pausing to lick at Merlin's nipples, making them hard, making them ache. He stopped and lay his head against the shell casing tattoo over Merlin's heart._

_"Are you still a lost soul?" He asked, finger flicking at the hard nipple near him._

_"Nae lad, not for a long time, and certainly not since you." Merlin ran his fingers through Eggsy's hair. "For as long as it is in my power I'm staying with you."_

_Eggsy breathed out. "Okay. Okay." He pushed up again to continue the path of kisses and licks. It would take awhile as there were a lot more scars on Merlin's torso now. He didn't mind the time._

 

 

Pilar and her team stormed into Merlin's office where he was carefully going over all the reports that had piled up. He was also monitoring two low key missions. He was slowly getting back into the swing of things. All the people who had worked to sub for him had done an incredible job, but they weren't him. Harry had been right, he really did need to train a proper replacement. They had three boxes between them. Pilar gestured and they were all carefully put down and opened. There were two legs and his fingers.

"The fingers were easy to finish up, with the specifications that you and I designed." Pilar said, handing them over. She helped him put them on, adjusted the straps on his hand and wrist. "Comfortable?" she asked.

"Aye." He moved his fingers a little watched the metal ones respond just a little off of the rest. He looked to the legs.

"Twitch was the one who figured out how to make them as quiet as possible."

Twitch grinned and stepped forward, ready to talk about parts and gears and electronics but Pilar held up a hand. "You can nerd out about engineering later. The point is they can't get any quieter. They also have compartments that hold a knife and a small gun, and Bors suggested a small bomb. Basically worst case you can throw your leg at someone and use a detonator to blow it up."

Merlin laughed out loud. No one else did. "You are serious."

"Of course." PIlar gestured. "The one on the left is the lighter option, the one on the right holds more gadgets. Here is the part where you say thank you for the countless hours of overtime we all spent on this." Pilar raised a brow.

Merlin looked at the group. "Thank ye. Sincerely and truly I thank ye for all the work and care. I know ye are the ones who left that teddy bear with prosthetics for me." No one would meet his eyes. "I have the best people in the world to work with. The agents think that they are the best of the best, but nae it is all of you."

They were all smiling and patting Merlin on the shoulder before heading out.

"Liz a moment." Liz sat in the chair that Merlin gestured to. "I have to send Tristan on a mission. He only has a 15% survival chance."

Liz didn't flinch. "Will I have a chance to say goodbye or are the wheels already up?" Her voice was even, calm.

Merlin smiled. "He's fine, he's not going anywhere right now. I just needed to see how ye would react. I need to know that you could send him, send Roxy, send Eggsy to their death if a mission called for it."

"Why?" she asked.

"Would you consider a transfer? I think it is time I properly trained another quartermaster," Merlin asked.

"I'll get my things."

 

 

Daisy tore into their house, Michelle unable to contain her. "Uncle Lach!" She yelled as she dove to hug him. Luckily Merlin had been able to brace himself and wasn't taken out by Storm Daisy. He held her tight, breathed in the scent of children's shampoo.

"Sorry, but she's been missing you something fierce." Michelle explained. She looked at Merlin. The scar on his cheek was a lot better, and he had put back on some of the weight he had lost. Eggsy was looking better too. She had been so worried about them, Eggsy had been so lost and broken. She had agreed that lying to Daisy was the best thing at first, but now it was time to tell her the truth.

Daisy pulled away from Merlin a bit. "Missed you. You never travel like Eggsy. Why were you gone so long?" She started to pull him towards the sofa. "Did you bring me back something?" Daisy realized Merlin was wearing gloves. "Why you wearing those? It isn't cold in here."

"Lass, we have some things to tell you." Merlin said. He sat on the couch and his trousers rode up a little.

"What's with your ankle, why is it so skinny in your sock?" She looked at the Eggsy knit socks on Merlin's feet. Before anyone could stop her she dropped to the ground and poked. Hit the metal. She jerked her finger back hard. Her lip began to quiver. "What's wrong? Something's wrong."

Eggsy knelt and picked her up, cuddled her on his lap while they told her about the accident.

She was mad and scared and cried and yelled. They let her run through it all. Finally she asked, "Didn't Eggsy kiss it better? He always kisses me better and it always works."

"Oh lass." Merlin said. "He did, but some things even Eggsy's kisses can't fix."

"Mine might." She said and rolled off Eggsy and twisted to kiss the prosthetic leg. "Did it work?"

Merlin smiled and kissed her head. "Aye lass, you very much have healed my heart."

 

_Eggsy had worked his way down Merlin._

_"Lad, I think ye might have gone a little far, missed some fun bits." Merlin said on a laugh. "I have been rather desperate for your attention."_

_"In a minute yeah? Just a couple more scars to kiss."_

_"Eggsy." Merlin said, voice strained._

_"Merlin, I love every bit of you, good, bad, here, lost. None will repulse me, nothing will change that." Eggsy kissed the scars on his legs and lay a gentle series of kisses where the thigh ended._

_Merlin gasped at the sensation, the skin there so very sensitive. Eggsy lay one last kiss and then moved a bit back up Merlin. He looked up and saw Merlin wipe away a tear._

_"Here now, none of that." Eggsy winked and began to kiss and lick at Merlin's cock. The erection that had fallen from nerves was quick to return under Eggsy's talented mouth and soon Merlin was panting, moaning._

_"Want to be in you lad, watch you ride me." Merlin said. "Been dreaming of that. Budge around so that I can open you up."_

_Eggsy was a little sheepish. "Yeah I might have taken care of that earlier." He reached and pulled the plug out._

_"Cheeky little -"_

_"You say that an awful lot you know." Eggsy said as he settled on top of his husband._

_"To be fair, you are rather cheeky a lot." Merlin nodded to Eggsy and Eggsy held Merlin's cock and slowly sank down on to it. They both groaned at the feeling._

_"Missed this." Eggsy finally managed to say._

_Merlin was incapable of words, lost to the feel of Eggsy._

 

 

"Hello. My name is Lachlan. A drunk driver one morning jumped a curb. I pushed a friend out of the way but couldn't get away myself. I lost two fingers and a large portion of my left leg." Merlin looked at the people sitting in the circle. He had been coming a month and this was the first time he had spoken. "I really hate the bastard that did this to me."

"Fucking A man. Lost my arm to a shark and man let me tell you I ever find that tosser, well he ain't getting no second chance." The guy who was in his early twenties grinned at Merlin. Merlin couldn't stop the belly laugh that rolled out. "See mate, it's not so doom and gloom in the end." He added.

"Maybe it isn't." Merlin agreed. Merlin didn't say anymore that time, but he did feel a little lighter.

 

 

"Eggsy." Merlin shouted down the stairs. 

"Yeah babe, problem?" Eggsy was always careful to give Merlin his space getting ready in the morning, the shower had a rail and a bench now, there were subtle hand grips in the bedroom. Still Eggsy hurried up the steps. They were due at the office for a meeting in about an hour.

Eggsy went in the bedroom where Merlin was sitting on the bed and looking at the lighter of the two prosthetic legs.

"Did ye yarn bomb my leg?" Merlin looked at the flowers and stripes of yarn that now covered the metal limb.

"Well it was boring." Eggsy pouted a little. "It needed some pizzazz. I was going to take it to a guy who does these cool custom paint jobs on prosthetics but I figured there were probably a couple weapons in it - so yarn bomb."

"It is very colourful," was what Merlin finally came up with. "And very thoughtful. The Boudica paints a little, maybe we could get her to gussy them up."

"That's be good. She's a right bit of awesome. Been helping me a lot." Eggsy said. Neither especially talked about their counseling, just knew that both were doing better, sleeping more, screaming from night terrors less.

"But until then, the yarn can stay." Merlin carefully put on his leg and stood to kiss Eggsy. 

"Yes!" Eggsy cheered. "Knew you'd love it."

 

_They stayed still for a moment, just relishing the feeling, the closeness. Merlin rested his hands on Eggsy's thighs, Eggsy put his on top of that._

_Eggsy slowly lifted himself a little and sank back down, rocking his hips a bit. He kept a slow pace, a steady roll. Neither wanted to rush the moment. Eggsy moved one of his hands to touch himself but Merlin reached him first. He wrapped his fingers around Eggsy and pulled lightly with a twist at the end. Eggsy threw his head back at the sensation._

_"Missed your touch so much babe. Been hating wanking. All I wanted was you." Eggsy said as he moved up and down. "Get why you wanted to wait, wanted it to be a big deal and all, but goddamn gotten used to your touch, mine isn't as much fun. No surprise to it."_

_Merlin tugged hard, so close to the edge of pain. Eggsy fell forward on a moan bracing himself on Merlin's chest. "See, surprises like that. Got to love them."_

_"Got to love you." was Merlin's reply._

_Eggsy began to move his hips faster._

_It wasn't long before they were both coming, the wait so long, the emotions so huge._

_Eggsy got up and cleaned them both off before snuggling into Merlin._

_Merlin held him tight and kissed his head._

_"Should I go get us muffins then?" Merlin asked._

_Eggsy sat up and looked at him in horror. Merlin broke and began to laugh._

_"You fucking ass. Piss off you son of a -" Eggsy began to pummel him with a pillow._

_Merlin rolled on top of his husband and began to kiss him silly._

 

An hour later dogs on their leashes they went out to a cafe and ordered coffees and cinnamon buns.

Eggsy was doing well, but pretty sure he'd never eat a muffin again. 

Merlin understood, he felt the same way.

The dogs sat at their feet, Q in his service dog vest, and Eggsy talked about all the socks he wanted to make Merlin, Merlin talked about maybe going for a beer with a couple people from his support circle.

They walked back home, hand in hand.

"Can your leg really explode?" Eggsy asked all of a sudden.

"That's what Pilar says."

"Wicked." Eggsy opened the door.

"As you say." Merlin agreed.

 


End file.
